


A Bounty Hunter's Day Off

by Kiaryn_Ledgem



Category: Metroid Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hollywood, Fanfiction, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:08:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23633617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiaryn_Ledgem/pseuds/Kiaryn_Ledgem
Summary: Samus visits a movie theater premiere of space Hollywood's take on her adventures.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	A Bounty Hunter's Day Off

"This mission is extremely inadvisable. I urge you to reconsider; there are alternate means to log this data"

But tall figure, wearing the fashion of day's skin-tight bodysuit layered under neon fabrics-in this case a hoodie and track shorts-ignores the machine-voiced warnings of their digital companion. 

"Stealth missions are not your forte; there are too many people. You are sure to get caught."

The figure just smirks, face obscured by hood and hair, and continues through the crowds of humanoids. Granfloraz, formerly colony K-2L, was now home to thriving metropolis after being reclaimed by the Galactic Federation in a post-space pirate world. And today was a special day.

"Stop, no facial concealment on the premises" asks a security guard a good two feet shorter than the hooded figure. 

"I warned you. Three federation officers are observing us. I've calculated a 65% chance of escape if we start running now"

"Sir? Please comply, lots of folk wanna visit the facilities today"

The figure sighs, and begins pulling down their hood, much to the dismay of their companion.

"Lady no! This is hostile ground! They'll recognize you immediately"

There is a pause from the security guard. Hushed whispers start in the crowd. One of the aforementioned federation officers lets out a gasp and rushes over. 

"Sorry ma'am. You can head right through-"

But the security guard is interrupted by a man street clothes pulling his badge. "Federation investigator. This woman resembles a class A fugitive. Sorry miss, I'm afraid we'll have to take you into custody. 

But the the towering woman crosses her arms and smiles down at the little cop. He trembles. "You're- you're her!" He reaches into pockets for his mandated laser pistol, but is stopped by his partner. 

"dude the fuck you doin'"

"It's the fugitive bounty hunter-"

"Dude they _all_ the fugitive bounty hunter."

The officer surveils the crowds, who look back at him with distrust. Dozens of cosplayers, all resembling the tall suspect, glare at him in disrespect. 

"They assigned us here to look out for her as a joke dude. What you thought an intergalactic war criminal was gonna just saddle on to her homeworld to see a movie? Psh just chill. I'm so sorry for my partner here, he's a little jumpy on accounta the recent rumors of 'metroid dna' bein' detected over by the neighborin solar system. Fake News, 'mirite?. Y'all have a good time now"

Samus Aran nods with closed eyes and lifts a hand to bid the officers goodbye before proceeding into the building. 

  
"I will admit, I did not account so many individuals to share your appearance. New calculations indicate a significantly higher probability of success. Carry on."

Within the facility lie many more fans as well as posters and video-holograms, all showcasing the intergalactic criminal heroine in various stages of her life. A few even have full costumes resembling various chozo armours that made it to the public eye, and some fake ones people believe are real. 

It's quite flattering. 

"Wow cool! You look just like her! can I take a selfie with you?"

"wow that woman, she has scars, is it really her?" "No way those are makeup effects." "Samus isn't a real person dummy."

She observes them for a time before the intercoms announce the movie premiere starting in just a few minutes. Everyone rushes to the doors, though as if instinctively the tides make room for Samus and do not obstruct her path. No matter how well she blends in, there's an air of danger surrounding her.

Or maybe it's just the bio-engineered super-weapon's blood coursing through her Chozo gene-spliced veins. Who can say.

Seats are filled, the show begins.

Directed by Yoshi Zakamotto. Space Hollywood productions presents

METROID

  
OTHER M

* * * 

By the time the credits roll, a portion of the audience has already left. Of those that remain, many are disappointed. The energy that once filled these people has been vastly depleted. 

"I knew they would mess it up. Space Hollywood never does anything right"

"I thought it was ok..."

"Ooh that romance between her captain, do you think that was real?"

"Zakamotto said he interviewed the galactic federation soldiers to make the movie, so of course it's not real."

"Why were there so many humans?"

The post credits scene begins, showing the tiny subservient cinema samus return to the bottle ship for Adam's helmet and deftly dodge the space ghost's ectoplasm in the process. Many in the audience groan. 

Samus, unable to contain herself any longer, bursts into a roaring laughter. She claps. She slaps her knee. She cackles. 

"They got- they got _everything_. _so. wrong._ AAAhAHAAAHA"

The audience stares at the maniac and shuffles out.

"Was it worth it, Lady? Accomplishing this mission?"

She shakes her head, still laughing. 

"I envy your ability to take this in stride. My circuits are overheating from embarrassment at how I was treated. I did not serve on the front lines to be portrayed in such a terrible fashion! And furthermore-"

Samus walks out of the theater, humming her own theme to the sounds of A.I Adam's rant. 


End file.
